bedazzled.

the scenes replays, as if the rays of sunshine touching on the heartstrings.
the electric twists, embarking the start of something unknown.
the laughs, thumping the earth and echoing around and around.

bedazzled but peace remains.
and how i wish time to stand still, time to stop creeping away.

chur life begins.

23號入細o
25號出camp
26號玩o day
27號入大o
29號出camp
30/31號gathering
1號action q interview
2號第一日返學

好似chur左少少。

hku :)

hku here we go!

i have looked into the common core that we have to study in the first 3 yrs.
the courses are simply awesome!!!!
i want to study courses abt sexuality and gender, forsenic science, moralities and ethics so badly ._.
i wanna join the hku queer alliance.
i wanna live in lung wah street residential colleges.
i wanna meet new people through orientation camp.

i just cant wait to start NOW!

excited.

i have just done my interview for cuhk english faculty.
the professors are great but i still kinda regret appearing too ambitious (??)
maybe i should have been more humble but never mind.
a girl who also had an interview told me only marginal cases are interviewed which scared the sh*t out of me.
i kinda thought it was a pretty safe choice.
never mind :\

my first choice is hku ba and i have been super excited  abt it.
maybe im not ready for law - yet.
i hope i will be after 4 years.

anyways im so glad i did not put cityu law as my first choice.
a lot of people are glad too - my teachers, my parents and my relatives.
it really has a not-so-good reputation and i always think i dun belong at cityu.

it is unpredictable that i would choose such a path.
but i feel like im on the right track for the first time in many years :)

dream that never comes true.

it was ridiculously unreal.
i did not expect at all to get the lowest and the highest grade in the components of a single subject.
(overall grade still stinks)
why is it chinese?
why?
i was more than shocked.
i still couldn't accept it.

as for english, while many of my friends managed to secure two stars, i got 1 only. so what was the use of the english prize? to remind me how i lost my most important battle?

as for other subjects, i got what i expected yet still has an unsatisfied feeling in my gut.

dse doesn't define me. i know i know.
but it still hurts to see what i dreamt abt shattered in pieces.

i just hope i still have a shot at cityu law.

please be over.

dse was over before i knew it.
and i know 7.15 will be over before i know it.

i hate waiting.
one of my biggest flaws is patience.
i dun have the patience to wait and see the result of my 6-year effort.
okay im probably bluffing - at least 2-year effort.

on the 15th of july, my dream may be crashed. i may never ever have a shot at pursuing a career in law.
or, i will be starting my first step towards my dream.

fingers crossed.

if all else fail, uk will be waiting for my return.

primary schoolmates gathering.

post-dse life has been very busy and a bit messy.
grad book and scotland took away much of my time.
but i managed to squeeze some time and attend a primary schoolmates gathering.

some people never ever change.
mean girls are still mean girls who think their are on the top of the world.
im a bitch - i expect their fall one day.
smart-asses are still smart-asses who remain the center of attention of teachers.
stupid people are still full of themselves and attach themselves to others that seem to be on a higher position on the ladder.

im happy some people are still as friendly as i remember.
we had a nice chat.

but i guess i changed a lot myself.

im not the little girl that you can bully into a corner anymore.
im not the one who will cry herself to sleep over others' inmature actions and statements.
i wasn't smart enough back then to avoid trouble - i seemed to be the trouble-seeker to be exact.
i screwed with the wrong people.
i messed up all my friendships.
i was lonely.

but now i manage to find the right people to be friends with.
real friends with amazing attitudes.
i stand up for myself.
i try my best to accomplish what i want badly.
i can deal with being alone because that doesn't mean im lonely.
im much stronger and tougher.

f*ck the haters who stood in my way.