This year has been difficult yet wonderful in so many ways.
Looking back, I am still so grateful of everything I've gone through.
January was a month of struggle.
After the end of my first ever university semester, I was confused and lost.
Without any friends that I felt a close connection with (or so I thought),
loneliness surrounded me everywhere I went.
February and March were months of change.
With the strenuous Bazaar, I finally got to befriend everyone in our Executive Committee.
And I met friends that remain on my side till this day.
It was definitely difficult to hold this event for the entire month.
Not to mention the Academic Festival that followed closely afterwards.
We paid days and hours of sweat and effort.
But I was rewarded with immense satisfaction and surprising friendships.
It was a difficult, yet amazing time.
April, well, I have vague memory of what happened this month.
I guess it is when I started falling in love.
Denial, tears and confusion was involved.
I didn't know how, nor did I wanted this to continue.
I tried hard to fall out of love but I failed, obviously.
It was a bittersweet month.
May is when I fell even harder for this guy.
You were away for 10 days and it was so difficult for me.
I kept trying to guess what you were really thinking about.
And for numerous times, I promised myself to give up.
But I couldn't. I couldn't even force myself to dislike you.
You embodied everything I ever wanted.
I went to Germany in June.
It was a great place with delicious food and the nicest people.
And finally, I got to enjoy time with my family.
But it wasn't all that great.
They fought all the time as usual and I was greatly annoyed by that.
But that's family, I guess.
From July to August, I saw how the incoming freshmen tried to blend into the new environment, which was just like us last year.
It was a strange sensation to be a more senior student.
However it was also when I realised how difficult it was to obtain a sense of belonging here.
And I was so glad that I did over the year.
On the other hand, as our friendship grew, I fell even harder for you.
But I knew we were never meant to be.
September was a roller coaster ride.
You finally realised my feelings for you.
But you pushed me away for you too, thought we were not meant to be together.
Till today, I still do not understand why you changed your mind.
Nevertheless, miracle started this month.
Meanwhile, HK was in complete chaos.
From the Occupy Central Movement to the Umbrella Revolution,
everyone was frustrated and disappointed at the current state of life.
In the end, change did not take place. Or did it?
October was when our Executive Committee session ended.
There were regrets over things that I could have done better.
Yet I knew my year one would never ever be as fruitful without the Society.
For a moment, I wished time could stop still.
If only we could be young forever, if only I could work with these people all over again.
At the same time, I was glad that it was finally over.
It was time to move on to work towards another goal.
November was when I felt so confused all over again, just like when I was a freshman.
Without the responsibilities as an Executive Committee member, I did not know what I should work towards anymore.
Academic work piled up this month and it was suffocating.
I was not emotionally stable but you were always here for me.
I realised you were even more than what I thought you were.
Yet this scared me as well, for how vulnerable one feels when one is in love.
But you said you love me just the same, despite my many insecurities.
It was when I thought, this could be it. You could be the one.
December was unsettling, again.
I went to two job interviews and I started thinking about my career prospect and our future.
Everything seems so terrifying.
But I learnt that it is okay not to be okay.
It is okay not to have everything figured out for now.
We never truly know who we really are because this is a life-long process.
Just live in the moment, because life is short.
So this sums up my year.
It was a great year. But I know, with you, more wonderful years are to come.
I know we could be it.
We can make it.
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