anger

anger and frustration has become my friends these days.
the fact that i can't hv enough rest nor find motivation or time to study is bothering me much more than i can handle.
ugh.
hope i can initiate a change after bazaar.

present

everything that we know of slowly slip out of our grip yet we refuse to believe that is the case.
what the majority of us do now doesn't make sense if we are fully aware of the shortness of our lives.

we waste time sitting down watching bad movies for hours.
we spent many waking moments reminiscing our past or anticipating the future.
we do not grasp the opportunities as we see them but instead hesitate and before we know it, they are gone.

we rarely focus on the present, which ironically, is what we really have.
we never enjoy the present moment as it is - missed it when trying to capture it with a camera, when we are lost in our other thoughts, when we can't look past all the hustle and bustle of our lives to enjoy life as it really is.

this is the problem of our generation.
this is the underlying reason for my persistant hollowness.
and that, is something that i need to work on my whole life.

Winter Solitude.

the winter wind blows
freezing, engulfing, biting my heart of solitude
silhouette of the past haunt me
leaving a scar on the delicacy of my memory

loneliness shivers in the corner
that direful monster consuming me in silence

i strive for an escape
yet it is in vain
it strikes me like a flood
with wave of emotion rolls in
i shriek

but no one knows me
nor the wind has mercy
so here i stand
enduring the winter solitude
for a hope that never exists.

奢侈

就讓我在難得比較空閒的禮拜天

躲在被窩裏

看一本與學業無關的書籍

撇下繁複的莊務

不跟任何人說話

這個空間 就只剩下自己

然而 這從什麽時候開始 竟成了奢侈的生活

chur.

其實真係chur得有d過分。

當我以為midterm/ tests/ essays 交得七七八八，
前幾日發現下星期一又有份2000字要交。

當我以為agm完左、正式上左莊，
其實又要為逼到埋身既inaug而忙碌。

其實我只係想有一日完全空閒，
可以做自己想做既野。

點解好似無可能?

疲憊。

很累。
累得不想思考不想應對不想上學。
最近都沒有娛樂的時間。
簡簡單單想看部電影也難。
為什麽要這樣犧牲私人時間？

我也不明白自己在幹什麽。
值得嗎？
不知道。
已經不能走回頭路了吧。

至少跟你們一起笑聲總是不絕。

好不容易

好不容易過了mock cam。

46個小時12個人1條心面對n屆上莊。

壓力比自己想像中大。

身為其中1位3C，理應對所有活動的設備、場地以及學生會內務守則瞭如指掌。

可惜我不太做得到。

感覺自己令正上莊失望了。

也意識到自己跟其餘11個人溝通不足。

但在過程中得到的堅實支持真的很大很多。

無論是post-its還是其他人在cam inaug的4個小時內幫忙答問題，都令我很感動。

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh but im exhausted mentally and physically.

但我找到了mock cam的意義。

我找到了上莊對自己的意義。

agm 會是另一大挑戰。

做到!!!!!!!!