do i matter?

would the world be any different if you weren't born in the first place?

the most problematic issue of myself is that, i do not think i matter.

i need the feeling of being needed to a great extend that it is becoming unhealthy to my growth.
but then, the truth is, no one is really essential to someone's living.

sometimes, i tend to think life is dispensable, where our personal contributions often go unrecognized, our doings are too small to matter.
therefore, it is an irony for me to quote "im only one, but im one. i cannot do anything, but i can do sth." on my personal statement for university admission.

this is a very haunting feeling.
with a deep-deated conviction that "i dun matter", how excited can u be abt the things u do and the choices u make?
when u wake up everyday, feeling what u do that day doesnt matter anyhow, how committed or passionate can u be?

the experience i hv gone through these years always leads me back to one question: what is the meaning of life?
i know i can only acquire the answer through the journey that is waiting for me in the future, but the constant  doubting and hollow feeing is becoming unbearable.

so, do i matter?