chur life begins.

23號入細o
25號出camp
26號玩o day
27號入大o
29號出camp
30/31號gathering
1號action q interview
2號第一日返學

好似chur左少少。

hku :)

hku here we go!

i have looked into the common core that we have to study in the first 3 yrs.
the courses are simply awesome!!!!
i want to study courses abt sexuality and gender, forsenic science, moralities and ethics so badly ._.
i wanna join the hku queer alliance.
i wanna live in lung wah street residential colleges.
i wanna meet new people through orientation camp.

i just cant wait to start NOW!

excited.

i have just done my interview for cuhk english faculty.
the professors are great but i still kinda regret appearing too ambitious (??)
maybe i should have been more humble but never mind.
a girl who also had an interview told me only marginal cases are interviewed which scared the sh*t out of me.
i kinda thought it was a pretty safe choice.
never mind :\

my first choice is hku ba and i have been super excited  abt it.
maybe im not ready for law - yet.
i hope i will be after 4 years.

anyways im so glad i did not put cityu law as my first choice.
a lot of people are glad too - my teachers, my parents and my relatives.
it really has a not-so-good reputation and i always think i dun belong at cityu.

it is unpredictable that i would choose such a path.
but i feel like im on the right track for the first time in many years :)

dream that never comes true.

it was ridiculously unreal.
i did not expect at all to get the lowest and the highest grade in the components of a single subject.
(overall grade still stinks)
why is it chinese?
why?
i was more than shocked.
i still couldn't accept it.

as for english, while many of my friends managed to secure two stars, i got 1 only. so what was the use of the english prize? to remind me how i lost my most important battle?

as for other subjects, i got what i expected yet still has an unsatisfied feeling in my gut.

dse doesn't define me. i know i know.
but it still hurts to see what i dreamt abt shattered in pieces.

i just hope i still have a shot at cityu law.

please be over.

dse was over before i knew it.
and i know 7.15 will be over before i know it.

i hate waiting.
one of my biggest flaws is patience.
i dun have the patience to wait and see the result of my 6-year effort.
okay im probably bluffing - at least 2-year effort.

on the 15th of july, my dream may be crashed. i may never ever have a shot at pursuing a career in law.
or, i will be starting my first step towards my dream.

fingers crossed.

if all else fail, uk will be waiting for my return.

primary schoolmates gathering.

post-dse life has been very busy and a bit messy.
grad book and scotland took away much of my time.
but i managed to squeeze some time and attend a primary schoolmates gathering.

some people never ever change.
mean girls are still mean girls who think their are on the top of the world.
im a bitch - i expect their fall one day.
smart-asses are still smart-asses who remain the center of attention of teachers.
stupid people are still full of themselves and attach themselves to others that seem to be on a higher position on the ladder.

im happy some people are still as friendly as i remember.
we had a nice chat.

but i guess i changed a lot myself.

im not the little girl that you can bully into a corner anymore.
im not the one who will cry herself to sleep over others' inmature actions and statements.
i wasn't smart enough back then to avoid trouble - i seemed to be the trouble-seeker to be exact.
i screwed with the wrong people.
i messed up all my friendships.
i was lonely.

but now i manage to find the right people to be friends with.
real friends with amazing attitudes.
i stand up for myself.
i try my best to accomplish what i want badly.
i can deal with being alone because that doesn't mean im lonely.
im much stronger and tougher.

f*ck the haters who stood in my way.

habits.

Aristotle had said a lot of inspiring words but i find the following most fascinating.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit."

i hv recently allowed myself to indulge in a extremely laid-back life.
i do not follow good habits.
i pay less attention and think less about the things around me.
im not longer familiar with american or hong kong politics like i used to think i do.
im not learning anymore.
im basically a living organism who for some reasons have a tight schedule but often left feeling extremely unsatisfied.

i repeatedly told myself: hey u went through a tough journey. u deserve to be as free as you want.
however, it is not good for me.

therefore, it is important to me to establish good habits all over again.
yet i need to take it slow or else i will find myself falling back into the aimless life im having now.

it all begins tomorrow.